Northern League Results Scandal

[titanu]

The Zimbabwean electoral commission has been a asked to look into the scoring at the recent round of the Northern Doubles League!!! After exhaustive research in the bar of the nearest hotel we have found Andy McKay's second game score of 29-6 out of a maximum game score of 25 points was above board and we have no hesitation in ratifying the result!!!

What is more Andy ’Mugabe’ McKay has been elected (unopposed) to be life president of the league on an annual salary of 10 million Zimbabwean pounds (worth 47p Sterling)!

The mysterious dissapearence of Colin Betts and the league funds is NOT linked to this appointment!

[philqw78]

The Zimbabwean electoral commission has been a asked to look into the scoring at the recent round of the Northern Doubles League!!! After exhaustive research in the bar of the nearest hotel we have found Andy McKay's second game score of 29-6 out of a maximum game score of 25 points was above board and we have no hesitation in ratifying the result!!!

What is more Andy ’Mugabe’ McKay has been elected (unopposed) to be life president of the league on an annual salary of 10 million Zimbabwean pounds (worth 47p Sterling)!

The mysterious dissapearence of Colin Betts and the league funds is NOT linked to this appointment!

But 'First Class' armies are worth more on the Northern League. Meaning that if a working class army beats them they get extra 'points'. This was meant to mean that capitalist southerners stayed away.
Unfortunately, as with most totalitarian political systems it may have failed. The cost of raising and maintaining a class 3 (working class) army is much greater than that of a Class One (posh) army. So the policy has had the opposite effect. The masses use small efficient armies and the Upper class exploit the inherent strengths of the huge working class. If only Karl Marx were alive to see it he'd turn in his grave.

[hammy]

29 points is possible but 29-6 is impossible

You have to remember the class bonus described so eloquently above by comrade Phil

The maximum score from one game is 30 points. 25 for a win with no lost AP and 5 bonus for a class three knocking over a class 1.

There seems to have been a lot of confusion over the scoring. I will see if I can get the sheets off Geoff and try to make sense of them.

[titanu]

If only Karl Marx were alive to see it he'd turn in his grave.

Surely Marx would have taken points from good teams (from each occording to their abilities) and given them to the poor teams (to each occording to their needs)!!!
Whereas Thatcher would have taken points from the poor teams and given them to the good teams!!

[philqw78]

If only Karl Marx were alive to see it he'd turn in his grave.

Surely Marx would have taken points from good teams (from each occording to their abilities) and given them to the poor teams (to each occording to their needs)!!!
Whereas Thatcher would have taken points from the poor teams and given them to the good teams!!

But the good teams exploit the proletariat, so Marx would be using the capitalist system and become "new labour". Trotsky would be glad of the ice pick.

[flamingpig0]

Would my Midianite Arabs count as lumpen proletarians and win the tournament automatically simply for having the chutzpah to turn up on table?

[Scrumpy]

Personally I am a Groucho Marxist revolutionairy and believe the world has seen no decent leader since Rufus T. Firefly !

"Three men and one woman are trapped in a building! Send help at once! If you can't send help, send two more women! "

[titanu]

The Zimbabwean electoral commission has been a asked to look into the scoring at the recent round of the Northern Doubles League!!! After exhaustive research in the bar of the nearest hotel we have found Andy McKay's second game score of 29-6 out of a maximum game score of 25 points was above board and we have no hesitation in ratifying the result!!!
What is more Andy ’Mugabe’ McKay has been elected (unopposed) to be life president of the league on an annual salary of 10 million Zimbabwean pounds (worth 47p Sterling)!
The mysterious dissapearence of Colin Betts and the league funds is NOT linked to this appointment!

Latest update!! Zanu HF (HF for Halifax) have been relegated to 6th place in the elections. Andy ’Mugabe’ McKay has been striped of his post and Colin and the money found. Another success for democracy!!

[hammy]

It seems there was some (a lot actually) of confusion over filling in the score sheet. This combined with some data entry errors meant that the final results were a touch confused to say the least.

It looks like Zanu HF managed to get a 5 point win bonus, a 5 point class bonus and find an extra 5 points from somewhere else.
It may well be the missing 5 points from Bob and Chris' round 1 score sheet that was apparenlty left lying on the table for anyone that wanted it to pick up.

There will be modifications to the score sheet for the next round which will hopefully make it harder for players to get things wrong.

[CLAVDIVS]

We will be giving a lessons to the “CHIMPS” in how to fill in the score sheet before the games start we will be bring a black board and a very big stick and a hat with the letter “D” on it, so school will start at 08:45 on the day.


Regards the Head Master

[BrigPaul]

Was hoping for a promotion to 2nd... but still 3rd on count back - ah well

[spike]

We will be giving a lessons to the “CHIMPS” in how to fill in the score sheet before the games start we will be bring a black board and a very big stick and a hat with the letter “D” on it, so school will start at 08:45 on the day.


Regards the Head Master

If your'e the "head" master, does that make you "Ide Armin", and whose head will we find in your fridge!

[philqw78]

If your'e the "head" master, does that make you "Ide Armin", and whose head will we find in your fridge!

No, Colin is more like Dick Dastardley. He ties his opponents to the train tracks.

Guarantees a day off work.

[spike]

If your'e the "head" master, does that make you "Ide Armin", and whose head will we find in your fridge!

No, Colin is more like Dick Dastardley. He ties his opponents to the train tracks.

Guarantees a day off work.

Phil you've got the wrong cartoon, it's the "Hooded Claw" who ties Penelope Pitstop to the tracks

[philqw78]

Phil you've got the wrong cartoon, it's the "Hooded Claw" who ties Penelope Pitstop to the tracks

But the Hooded Claw is only after Penelope Pitstop. Colin would tie anyone who went against him to the tracks

[spike]

Phil you've got the wrong cartoon, it's the "Hooded Claw" who ties Penelope Pitstop to the tracks

But the Hooded Claw is only after Penelope Pitstop. Colin would tie anyone who went against him to the tracks

Does this make Mike Goss- Mutley

[Scrumpy]

But who is Colin's Muttley ?

[CLAVDIVS]

[CLAVDIVS]

if it is your head Spike we would have to be a very big fridge to put it in

[CLAVDIVS]

Only a one day Phil, more like 8 mouths + off with full pay as well