The Picti saved my cat! AAR by MacRobert 06-2002

[anguille]

Well let me tell you abit about the game, Legion, very fun, very addictive, need I say more? Just so you know this is going to be in OOC, because the events are very strange as you see in the title...

So it started two days ago, I get home, put the CD in, cry, etc etc....

All is quite on the eastern front, untill the very fine music flings to life, happy... Happy... Happy!

Hmm I think I will try the Unification of Italy...

I start as Rome. All goes well. I build some troops, I make some Allys (the 2 small countries above the Roman Empire) I go to war with some big country. I send my troops in, they die, I send more in, they die.

Wow good job me, you killed millions of Italians. I had better offer some peace *click* *click* Uhh they don't want some? Well then, maybe I will send in another army..

After repeated trys, I took 1 town! 1! Then they took it back...

Well I was soon destroyed, but my spirit was as fiesty as a Boyscout! And as Strong as a Leprochaun! The Scottish Level looks fun...

The Highlands has 2 major countrys, the Picti and some other long name country. I chose the Picti because who can go wrong with Pictish? Well I get in, the next turn is a war, wow that was quick. I pick my ally, Caledonia (Future Scotland!?) and go to war!

My troops go west, first bloodshed results in a new Pictish Town. Battle number 2 for the town results in a total win, I lose no more then 10 Picts! About then my game crashed. Hmm I am mad, for I have not saved, and the Cat is yelling in pain...

So I start the game again. AUTOSAVE! Woo hoo! Very nice time for it to, its right after the Battle of Meowwww so I called it.

The cavemen raised the clubs and fought for another town... then another... soon my army of Naked Celts/Picts would be good enough to take on rome..

Oh but they were destroyed arleady... Then the people under me! Boy was I wrong.

MEOWWW was all I heard for awhile, then out of the blue... "WHAT DO YOU WANT YOU FAT CAT!" she looked at me with terror...

I looked outside, another cat!? Could this be? I consulted with my Pictish troops... if they were correct, an attack is in order. I quickly put on grey pants, took my shirt off, and stormed the battle, with few loses (my pride) I was off to start my Pictish attack.

So now, here I was, I owned the Highlands... Hark! To the South! Celts! I must invade!

The map was now made up of Super power-countries. The people in the south just lost a major war, very few land left. I marched my troops right over to the town. Sent them a basket of fruit, EVIL FRUIT, and a gift card for a war, EVIL WAR!

When the blood shed ended, they had lost their army. I was now free to march right on over to the town. Oh no! The town had an Amry in it? Peons and Children I am sure. Lets just say half of the battlefield was covered in archers.

I of course tried many times to take it. Then I made many many horses to flank, yes it worked! The town is mine! Now to grab the other 2...

Ahh yes! There! I have 2! 2 is a lucky number! 2 2 2! Ahhh nooo its gone! 1!!!! 1 !!!!

Ok so my people are in place, after some planning, I made an army that looked like it was up to no good...

Bang bang bang! My magic Picti Warbands yelled as they ran into battle with spears and shields. And some kind of sweatpants...

We won! CUBS WIN! CUBS WIN! It is now up to me to take the last town... so here I am... Let us see how this goes!

The cat is dead! Long live the cat! Oh wait, nevermind the last one, thank you Picti..

Part II
I think its long overdue for another post... *cough cough*


So I try to take the last town... then all scotland will soon be mine... but oh no! Look at that! Dads going to eat... The PICTI!


My troops go in for the kill, I set the formation to look very deadly and evil, Ahh what are you doing!? don't run!

There goes my horsies, hah, the spearmen are running now... Now the Picti! Why! WHY! Archers hold your ground! I don't care if you die! Then they died.


Now I am sitting here, alone... all alone with Picti pants...

oh whats this? Another army? Well I will give it a shot. Next thing you know that country is gone and another one that declared war on me is next. Picti and Caledonians work together to destory these foo's.

Days later, my hangover ended as I had swallowed a bottle of coke, oh god, the applejuice... Arggg

All I know is it ended bad, horrible if you will. The town my men attacked was taken before my fat slobs of troops. Who took the town? Was it Mr. Garrison? The 1941 Dallas 49ers? Or was it Caledonia?. Quickly to end the horrible voices in my head I turned on the TV. Goth make-up? Hmm...

That, my friends, is the end of my story!

[IainMcNeil]

This is one of my all time favourites

[dithyrambos]

EXCELLENT, anguille! EXCELLENT! I was laughing like there was no tomorrow! And then I laughed some more for good measure! Very well done!

Dithy

[Redpossum]

Hahahahah, that was great...