This neutron walks into this bar...

[Redpossum]

...and asks the bartender, "How much for a dry martini?"

The bartender looks him up and down, then replies, "Hey, for you, no charge..."

[ste]

Physics jokes, gotta love 'em.

[sum1won]

I remember my class spending all period in a physics course trying to think up a dirty physics joke involving heisenburg's uncertanity whatever. Except, it didnt work, unless the subject said the right thing.

[Redpossum]

Actually, I do know an old story about Prof. Heisenberg, but it's pretty G-rated.

[duncan]

I love the joke (I'm physicist) and I would love to hear the G-rated Heisenberg story. PM, please (what is G-rated, BTW? ).

[fatetriarrii]

G comes before PG on the movie rating scale. Kinda like E in computer games.

[Redpossum]

This story has been making the rounds among the faculty at UCSD (University of California at San Diego) for at least 40 years now, and is originally credited to Roger Revelle, who founded the UCSD campus.

It's not very well known, but in the years shortly after the war, Prof Werner Karl Heisenberg lived here in San Diego.

One fine summer weekend, he'd been up to visit some friends among the german ex-pat community in Los Angeles, and was returning to San Diego on Sunday afternoon. Now, this was before Interstate-5 had been constructed, so he was coming down the old Pacific Coast Highway, Route 101, that winds along the coast.

Blazing along on a fine sunny southern California afternoon, he was not paying attention to his speedometer. Eventually the siren and flashing lights appeared to his rear, and he pulled over to speak to the CHP.

The California Highway Patrol officer parked his big motorcycle, stomped up to the side of the good professor's Mercedes, and shouted, "Do you have any idea how fast you were going?"

Professor Heisenberg looked at him mildly and replied, "No, but I do know exactly where I am."