GenWagner wrote:My thoughts are that the briefings are good drafts, but there is need for a bit of polish in the prose and careful use of language regarding the Nazi element.
I could go through them with a fine comb but the things that stand out are:
Poland - remove "Der Fuhrer" and replace with a euphemism such as "High Command". Hitler & Nazism is understandably a sensitive subject for people and I think the original PG rightly framed the German cause in militaristic terms between states. Using terms such as "High Command" and "Germany" firmly move the game away from the political sphere.
Norway, Belgium & France. I think we can be a bit more economical with our sentence structure, use a few less words to convey the same message. I can give an example in say France if that helps.
Hello GenWagner, and thanks for your input!
You are right that the current briefings represent drafts (the very first draft, to reiterate what the first post of this thread explained) and may need some slight tweaks and polishing. For example the first sentence of the France briefing may need to be less 'wordy' as you put it.
As for the 'Nazi element' well, this is a very tricky and delicate situation. What may be appropriate language for you may still not be appropriate enough for others. Some may have issue with 'Soviet' or even 'Bolshevism' (More people died as a result of Stalin's Purges and repression than Hitler's holocaust you know). Special care was taken to not use terminology that was too strong, for example not once does the word 'Nazi' appear in any briefings. At the same time, the Decisive Victory for France specifically names several prominent German individuals, namely Ribbentrop, Brauchitsch, Raeder, Hess, Goring, and Keitel, but not Hitler, who is still only referred to as "Der Führer" in the very same sentence. Another example is no briefing, I believe, uses the words 'kill' or 'slaughter' or 'massacre'.
At the same time, terminology such as High Command and Germany are already present within several briefings, and additional use of these terms would be overly redundant. In Poland, High Command is already referenced in the briefing, for example. Careful attention was made for ample use of synonyms to combat redundancy. We don't want every briefing to read the same:
High Command orders you to occupy X, Y, Z city. Where X,Y,Z changes from scenario to scenario.
Instead we invoke "Der Führer" or say "operation Fall Rot" to add variety and flavor to the texts.