The European and Near Eastern Gazette
Claims to unowned territories and homeland challenges continue to be received at this office. 8/11 Kingdoms have submitted papers in triplicate to this newsroom filing outrageous unjustified claims to independent lands. Local landowners throughout europe, the Near East and Africa report widespread panic. Alfonso de Alac'a'Name when interviewed in his home village of Wareizit in Slovakia stated
Som strach, pretože moje vznášadlo je plné úhorov, which roughly translates to "I'm scared because now my hoover thing is full of eels!"
In breaking news:-
Call to Arms in Britain
The King of Scotland issued a challenge to the King of England to advance his claim to the English throne. This claim was resoundingly rejected.
The King of England accepted the challenge marching his hastily assembled entourage to the border. The continent still waits with anticipation...
Simultaneously,
DillyO'Dilly King of Ireland challenged the King of Poland in a fit of Irish rage at his usurpation of the Polish throne, which in his mind belongs to his second brothers third uncle of their neighbour's Aunty Caoimhe in the village in County Wexford. O'Dilly claimed this morning,
"...that jumped up Polak swineherd has no right to annex, confiscate, grab, impound, repossess, sequest, defalcate, embezzle, misapply, misappropriate, misuse, peculate, or thieve my friend's Aunty's birthright. Clearly, having swallowed a dictionary for breakfast this reporter later observed O'Dilly gathering in the gallowglas and kern, 'bonnachts' and the newly settled Scots, referring to them as those bar-legged mountain men - those 'Redshank' heathen for a farewell banquet of 108 different potato dishes and brimming vats of blinding Poitín.
KiwiWarlordski, King of Poland, accepted the challenge Europe was subsequently stunned by the inability of the Irish to stand in the field of battle without falling over drunk despite being capable of finding Poland after their drinking binge. Hence,
Poland continues to remain firmly Slavic.
Not content with soundly defeating the Irish Poland
now declares war on the O'Dilly Irish and an invasion force of Poles from the muster of 1618 - 1632 has begun the long journey to the land of potatoes & fellow Catholic Brothers. Europe awaits in astonished disbelief.
Call to Arms in Eastern Europe and Asia
The Tzardom of Russia under Mouse-e-Tung declared Uzbek Hetmanate part of the Tzarist Kingdom to monopolise the Sardine supply from the Kaspian. Unfortunately the
The King of Sweden, now known widely in Russia as the "The Lion Cub of the North" has lost his claim to this valuable piece of real estate for their lutfisk production after being defeated battle despite forgetting to bring home armies with them. As such both sides were forced to purchase the services of some used mercenary companies lurking in the region by blind bidding at the bazaar. Russia got the better, a wall of Portuguese muskets versus a brave yet outdated army of Hussars and Panzerkampwagonschutzenpferden.
Uzbek and the sardine trade is now firmly in the Russia sphere of influence.
After the Poles under KiwiLordski successfully challenged the Grand Sultan bin Greeting44 for Turkey
Poland now declares war on Russia and an invasion force of Poles from the muster of 1618 - 1632 has begun the short journey to the land of sunflowers. Stunned by Polish greed, Europe waits in disbelief for the reply
Call to Arms in Western Europe and West Africa
Spain extended the Reconquista with the invasion of Morocco and claimed Portugal to be territories of the Spanish crown. His Serene Highness
the Sultan of Morocco G bin Dodaziz accepted both challenges refuting these outrageous claims. The battle for Portugal saw mercenary Cornish-men under the now able commander the Earl of Monmouth defeat the Spanish Saxon mercenaries. Thus,
Portugal now is a pawn of the Sultan. Europe still waits for the conclusion of the battle for Morocco with drooling anticipation.
Both
the Sun King of France Aryaman Bourbon and Mad King William Felipe I of Spain claimed by right the Kingdom of Italy. The Bourbon king based his claim on a future assertion to the right to remarry Marie de' Medici in the event of his current wife's death, even though Felipe is currently married to the very same women. Europe continues to wait in nervous anticipation of a result
Meanwhile,
the Grand Sultan of the Ottoman Empire clearly concerned for their Moroccan brother's poor performance against the infidel's Spanish invasion challenged Mad King Felipe I for
After a successful battle the Spanish mainland is now once more under a Muslim ruler All of Europe is shaking their heads in wonder at the success of the suntanned Sultan's audacious move.
Moreover, not only has
both the Sultan of Morocco and the "The Lion of the North" laid claim to Austria but
the Swedish King has also challenged the Sun King after tasting a rather fine bottle of Bordeaux and coveting the region. No reappearance of Monmouth to fight for the Sultan in Austria mean't Portuguese mercenaries from the newly acquired territory were found to pursue these claims against a hastily assembled Spanish army. Meanwhile, Europe continues to wait to see whether the Sun King has risked the loss of his fine wine producing region?
In other news,
the Sultan of Morrocco has challenged O'Dilly Dilly a' diddley diddley due to being between a rock and a hard potato and having a bad case of Spanish flu back in Morocco. Hoping the Irish can't remember how firearms or pike work sent his army across the sea and both straights an the battle continues.
Call to Arms in Central Europe
The Irishman
Dilly O'Dilly and the Scotsman McAwsum of Glen Campbell have challenged for Germanyhaving an insatiable liking for bratwurst and München lager. Since both claim these delicious staples they 'fight for the right'. Europe waits to see which Gaelic expedition will win.
EUROPE IN TURMOIL - UPDATE 5 Showing unowned states that have succumbed to occupation and resolved player battles to date. [It does not include challenges yet to be accepted]
- Europe Map.jpg (294.73 KiB) Viewed 3422 times
