AK: In game messages - Editing

uran21 · Post by **uran21** » Tue Jul 10, 2012 6:09 pm

British India

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Intelligence reports tell us that the enemy's Main Headquarters is located somewhere behind the Eastern Ghats mountains.

uran21 · Post by **uran21** » Tue Jul 10, 2012 6:10 pm

El Alamein

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You have captured new equipment.

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If the situation deteriorates, your units can safely leave the battlefield through the marked corridor.

uran21 · Post by **uran21** » Tue Jul 10, 2012 6:10 pm

Kasserine Pass

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You have captured new equipment.

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You have captured new equipment.

uran21 · Post by **uran21** » Tue Jul 10, 2012 6:10 pm

Mareth Line

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Enemy outflanked us!

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Enemy outflanked us!

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Mechanics recovered British tank left on the battlefield.

uran21 · Post by **uran21** » Tue Jul 10, 2012 6:10 pm

Tunisian Bridgehead

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The enemy naval presence is too strong, supply by sea has no chance for success!

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Since supplying your forces by sea has been ruled out, aircraft will bring equipment and resources. Guard them well!

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We are expecting an air supply convoy soon. Land it at the marked zone near Bizerte.

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We are expecting an air supply convoy soon. Land it at the marked zone near Mateur.

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We are expecting an air supply convoy soon. Land it at the marked zone near Djedeida.

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We are expecting an air supply convoy soon. Land it at the marked zone near Tunis.

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Air convoy has arrived, guard it well!

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Air supply convoy is in range, commit an escort to it.

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The Gigants are bringing us reinforcements!

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Air supply is entering our zone. Ensure fighter escort to it.

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Resources to continue the fight have reached the bridgehead.

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Resources to continue the fight have reached the bridgehead.

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Resources to continue the fight have reached the bridgehead.

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Resources to continue the fight have reached the bridgehead.

karlto · Post by **karlto** » Tue Jul 10, 2012 7:37 pm

uran21 wrote:Brevity

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Generalleutnant enemy gives up from some of his objectives.
For sure they don't want to be caught in the open.

I think the following would be better English:

Generalleutnant, the enemy is withdrawing from some of his objectives.
For sure they don't want to be caught in the open.

karlto · Post by **karlto** » Tue Jul 10, 2012 7:38 pm

uran21 wrote:Battleaxe

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Intelligence officer warns us on advancing mobile formation approaching our flank from the desert.

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Make sure Sidi Aziz stays in our hands. Having enemy here could crush our defenses.

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This diversion group needs to be eliminated. No one should survive.

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New equipment has been captured.

Better English:

Our intelligence officer warns us of advancing mobile formations approaching our flank from the desert.

uran21 · Post by **uran21** » Wed Jul 11, 2012 4:23 pm

Thanks for your help. In Brevity it looks like we have clarity issue.

Let me quote post about it.

DownriverRick wrote:Agree. When I replayed the scenario, I got a popup that stated "Generalleutnant enemy gives up from some of his objectives. For sure they don't want to be caught in the open." Were the British giving up their objectives, as in hexes, or mission objectives, such as cutting their attack short and pulling back? From the second sentence and subsequent turns, I gathered it was the latter, but still vague and confusing.

uran21 wrote:What happened is one Axis held town was removed as an objective. After the message map should be centred on it. This caused British to swing from offensive to defensive.
So the correct statement is they are giving up from mission objectives. What message would you suggest?

Suggestions how to improve clarity of this message are very much welcomed.

monkspider · Post by **monkspider** » Thu Jul 12, 2012 12:13 am

Out of the ones you posted, here are the ones I would recommend changes to and how I would edit them.

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Greetings Generalleutnant.
Johannes Streich, commanding officer of 5th Light Division at your disposal.
My troops are assembled and ready for reconnaissance in force!

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Generalleutnant, our intelligence reports are showing the British are overextended.
We could disregard our orders and capture all of Cyrenaica!

Re: AK: In game messages - Editing

Unread postby uran21 » 10 Jul 2012 18:05
Ras el Mdauuar

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You have been rewarded with 1000 prestige for destroying the enemy's most well-defended strongpoints.

Brevity

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Generalleutnant, the enemy has abandoned several of their objectives. It appears that they are taking a defensive stance.

Top

Battleaxe

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Herr General, we have received intelligence of advancing mobile formations approaching our flank from the desert!

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We must make sure that Sidi Aziz stays in our hands. An enemy presence here could crush our defenses.

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It is imperative that this diversion group be eliminated in it's entirety.

El_Condoro · Post by **El_Condoro** » Thu Jul 12, 2012 10:26 pm

It is imperative that this diversion group be eliminated in it's entirety.

As a general rule, any messages that relate to victory conditions, especially when they differ from the pzloc Start Turn screen, should be clearly signalled as such. The one above from Battleaxe is actually saying "unless you destroy all the Allied units on the map, you can't get a DV". Some indication that it is not just informational but also a victory condition needs to be included. Make the message bold and [Victory Condition) at the beginning?

uran21 · Post by **uran21** » Thu Jul 12, 2012 10:30 pm

Good feedback. For now there is no mechanism to change victory conditions in pre turn screen and we cannot tell you what to do at beginning of scenario because conditions are changing in the course of scenario.

El_Condoro · Post by **El_Condoro** » Fri Jul 13, 2012 9:50 pm

Understood. Perhaps a generic "Dynamic victory conditions" message on the pzloc would be enough, or do you want the player to just assume that?

Longasc · Post by **Longasc** » Sat Jul 14, 2012 11:51 am

I would like to point out that I am German and not a native speaker. But unfortunately I don't see many British and Americans contributing to this thread!

Dear fellow Wargamers, don't let a German play the Grammar Nazi, you can do it better.
This is your chance to help improve Panzer Corps, probably even more than by playing through the entire campaign and giving feedback on that while ignoring this thread.

uran21 wrote:Brevity

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Generalleutnant enemy gives up from some of his mission objectives and withdraws.
For sure they don't want to be caught in the open.

Generalleutnant, the enemy seems to have given up. They abandon their positions.
For sure they don't want to be caught in the open now.

Longasc · Post by **Longasc** » Sat Jul 14, 2012 11:54 am

uran21 wrote:Battleaxe

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Generalleutnant, we have received intelligence of advancing mobile formations approaching our flank from the desert!

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We must make sure that Sidi Aziz stays in our hands. An enemy presence here could crush our defenses.

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It is imperative that this diversion group be eliminated in it's entirety.

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New equipment has been captured.

We must make sure that Sidi Aziz stays in our hands. An enemy presence there could crush our defenses.

It is imperative to repel this diversion and to destroy all participating enemy units.

Longasc · Post by **Longasc** » Sat Jul 14, 2012 12:01 pm

uran21 wrote:Suez Canal

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You have acquired a submarine!

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Land forces are in jeopardy from naval bombardment. Press towards Alexandria, maybe we acquire vessels of our own if we made on time.

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Royal Navy is approaching our way!

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Sunk the Royal Navy ships! Sunk them all!

Our ground forces are in jeopardy of naval bombardement. Advance quickly towards Alexandria, maybe we can get capture some warships if we make it in time.

The Royal Navy is closing in!

Sink the Royal Navy! Sink them all!

Longasc · Post by **Longasc** » Sat Jul 14, 2012 12:04 pm

uran21 wrote:Gazala Line

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You have captured new equipment!

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Intelligence informs us counterattack is aimed at strategically important airfield. Bounce of the attacker and you will be rewarded gratefully.

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You have been rewarded with 4000 prestige for outstanding performance!

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Allied units are in a full retreat! Destroy them while they are on the open.

Intelligence reports that the counterattack is aimed at strategically important airfields. Fend off the attack and you will be greatly rewarded!

You have been awarded 4000 prestige for your outstanding performance!

Allied units are in full retreat! Destroy them while they are on the run!

Longasc · Post by **Longasc** » Sat Jul 14, 2012 12:06 pm

uran21 wrote:Malta

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New equipment has been acquired.

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We have received information on heavy naval presence of the enemy.

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Intelligence informs us the naval convoy is trying to leave the area! Prevent them from escaping. Locate and sank the fleet.

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High Command rewarded your efforts in sunking Allied fleet with more resources.

We have received reports indicating a strong naval presence of the enemy.

Intelligence reports that the convoy is trying to leave the area! Prevent their escape, locate and sink the convoy!

Longasc · Post by **Longasc** » Sat Jul 14, 2012 12:09 pm

uran21 wrote:Second offensive

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Retreat to El Agheila, be warned British could try to cut off the advance!

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Reinforcements have arrived!

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Push your forces into offensive and retake lost ground!

Retreat to El Agheila, be warned that the British could try to cut off your advance!

(Note: I have not played this scenario yet. How can the British cut off the advance if the player is actually retreating?)

Ballacraine · Post by **Ballacraine** » Sat Jul 14, 2012 2:38 pm

Longasc wrote:I would like to point out that I am German and not a native speaker. But unfortunately I don't see many British and Americans contributing to this thread!
Dear fellow Wargamers, don't let a German play the Grammar Nazi, you can do it better.
This is your chance to help improve Panzer Corps, probably even more than by playing through the entire campaign and giving feedback on that while ignoring this thread.

uran21 wrote:Brevity

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Generalleutnant enemy gives up from some of his mission objectives and withdraws.
For sure they don't want to be caught in the open.
Generalleutnant, the enemy seems to have given up. They abandon their positions.
For sure they don't want to be caught in the open now.

I can appreciate your concerns & appreciate that you want the text to be right.
On the other side of the coin though, an occasional Germanic way of expressing the information would not be out of character for a briefing delivered by a high ranking German officer.
Provided the information is not compromised, it actually can add a little to the immersion factor.

Balla.

monkspider · Post by **monkspider** » Sat Jul 14, 2012 3:20 pm

Ich danke Ihnen, Herr Longsac. I am an American, and your suggestions are excellent. In fact, your English has always been so good, I had no idea you weren't a native speaker.

I didn't notice that Uran had posted more text or else I would have added more contributions, I will try to watch this thread more closely.