Slitherine

I'm a waiter.

When I started my current job, I was the only male server working there. Now there are a few more, but the majority are still waitresses. Most of these girls are young enough to easily be my daughters, and sometimes they say things that strike me as hysterically amusing.

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Here's today's offering...

"So I decided to give this guy a chance, alright? He's, like, 22, and that's cool because I like older men..."

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One of the nicest of the girls there is Lily. Now Lily is a gorgeous little ukrainian girl, about 5'4", slender as a reed, with championship-quality decolletage. I mean, we're talking at least a jumbo C-cup here, and she likes to show them off

One day our manager, meaning to ask her about the stock levels on coconut pie, called out loudly, "So, Lily, how's your coconuts?"

Needless to say, we all fell about, while the manager and Lily both turned bright red.

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She's gone now, but when I first started, there was a salty old gal named Catherine working there. Now, we regularly serve both clam chowder and potato chowder, and it can be a bit hard to tell them apart. I asked Catherine one night, soon after I started, "How do you tell the clam chowder from the potato chowder?"

Her reply was, "If it smells like my pussy, it's the clam."

The last one is the funniest ...even though I don't know what clam chowder or potato chowder is (but I happen to know what a "pussy" is )

Just tell me where your restaurant is...I don't want to go there if I ever go to San Diego

ROFL.

Chowder is a very thick white soup.

possum wrote:ROFL.

Chowder is a very thick white soup.

Yeah, it sounds...nasty

One of the biggest cultural shocks I had when I went to San Jose/San Francisco area for five or six days (damned jet lag!) was related to food. I didn't know actually what to order. I'm not the kind of guy who goes to burgerkings and the likes, so I was literally lost.

Where are you from?

possum wrote:Where are you from?

Spain. Thing is I'm 30 right now and I didn't have a McDonald's around when I was young (well...younger ). I suppose that younger spaniards are more accustomed to fast food than I am...too much sauces and frozen french fries for me

Ah, I don't blame you. McD's is a nasty excuse for food.

Chowder is good traditional american food, though. It's not fastfood crap. It's originally from the states of the north-east coast, what we call New England, where they traditionally eat a lot of shellfish.

It's actually these folks, the New Englanders, that we think of when we hear "yankee", even though people outside the US use this as a generic term for all americans.

Here in the southwest, being called a "yankee" is a mild insult, and in the southeast it's a severe insult, as in, liable to get you punched.

duncan wrote:

possum wrote:Where are you from?

Spain. Thing is I'm 30 right now and I didn't have a McDonald's around when I was young (well...younger ). I suppose that younger spaniards are more accustomed to fast food than I am...too much sauces and frozen french fries for me

Well, McDonalds food does suck.

<shameless self-advertisement>You should eat at Burger King! We make much better food! For one thing, we use REAL chicken, unlike McDonalds! For another, a Whopper just tastes better than a Big Mac.</shamless self-advertisement>

dithyrambos wrote:

duncan wrote:

possum wrote:Where are you from?

Spain. Thing is I'm 30 right now and I didn't have a McDonald's around when I was young (well...younger ). I suppose that younger spaniards are more accustomed to fast food than I am...too much sauces and frozen french fries for me

Well, McDonalds food does suck.

<shameless self-advertisement>You should eat a Burger King! We make much better food! For one thing, we use REAL chicken, unlike McDonalds! For another, a Whopper just tastes better than a Big Mac.</shamless self-advertisement>

I once heard that "Kentucky Fried Chicken" had to drop the "chicken" from their brand name because THAT wasn't REAL chicken at all and so they became KFC. Urban legend, I guess, but funny anyway

I like to bit my tongue off at work today.

I walk out of the food prep area, and Shawna is standing there, with Jennifer on one side of her, and Lily (see above) on the other.

Shawna calls, "hey, Chris". When I look up she grabs Jen's left boob with one hand, and Lily's right boob with the other, grins at me and says, "Don't you wish you could do that?".

I tried very hard to maintain my composure, but it was not easy with all three of them laughing at me.

Word of honor, I am not making this up.

ROFL.

OK, black guy comes in with his white girlfriend. Now, this is Southern California, not Mississippi, and mixed couples are really no big deal. I only mention it because it bears on the punchline.

They have their meal, and then I ask if they want pie.

The black guy says yes, he wants a Hot Fudge Brownie to go.

Now, usually we make the Hot Fudge Brownie like this-

1. Warm brownie and bottle of chocolate syrup in microwave
2. Put a scoop of vanilla ice cream on top of brownie
3. Apply hot chocolate syrup on top of ice cream
4. Apply chopped walnuts on top of chocolate syrup
5. serve it QUICK before the ice cream melts!

As you can see, "to go" was sort of a challenge. I just put the 4 ingredients in separate containers, unheated, and then the 4 containers in a bag.

I took the bag to the customer, handed it to him, and explained what I'd done.

He took the ice cream out of the bag, and handed it back to me, saying "Here you can keep this. I'm not real fond of vanilla."

Well, it was a long, fun run while it lasted, but Baker's Square closed the doors last week, laid us all off with no severance pay, and filed for Chapter 11 on 45 stores. So far no luck at all finding another job.

I have to ask myself, is the war in Iraq worth trashing the US economy over ? You can't pour 25 billion USD down a rathole and not expect repercussions.

Well, actually, if you're Dubya, maybe you can expect that...

Ouch - sorry to hear that

Good luck with the job search.

How are your programming skills - fancy making a wargame for us

iainmcneil wrote:Ouch - sorry to hear that

Good luck with the job search.

How are your programming skills - fancy making a wargame for us

Heheh, man I wish! But while I like to think I'm pretty good at scenario design, I have no real programming skills at all. Well, a bit of javascript, which is technically object-oriented programming, but aside from that...

Anyhow, thanks for the good wishes, those are encouraging and do help!