The European, North African and Near Eastern Gazette
Claims to unowned territories and homeland challenges continue to be received at this office. 10/11 Kingdoms have submitted papers in triplicate to this newsroom filing outrageous unjustified claims to independent lands. Local landowners throughout europe, the Near East and Africa report widespread panic. Alfonso de Alac'a'Name when interviewed in his home village of Wareizit in Slovakia stated
Som strach, pretože moje vznášadlo je plné úhorov, which roughly translates to "I'm scared because now my hoover thing is full of eels!"
In breaking news:-
Call to Arms in Britain
The King of Scotland issued a challenge to the King of England to advance his claim to the English throne. This claim was resoundingly rejected.
The King of England accepted the challenge marching his hastily assembled entourage to the border. The continent still waits with anticipation...
Simultaneously,
DillyO'Dilly King of Ireland challenged the King of Poland in a fit of Irish rage at his usurpation of the Polish throne, which in his mind belongs to his second brothers third uncle of their neighbour's Aunty Caoimhe in the village in County Wexford. O'Dilly claimed this morning,
"...that jumped up Polak swineherd has no right to annex, confiscate, grab, impound, repossess, sequest, defalcate, embezzle, misapply, misappropriate, misuse, peculate, or thieve my friend's Aunty's birthright. Clearly, having swallowed a dictionary for breakfast this reporter later observed O'Dilly gathering in the gallowglas and kern, 'bonnachts' and the newly settled Scots, referring to them as those bar-legged mountain men - those 'Redshank' heathen for a farewell banquet of 108 different potato dishes and brimming vats of blinding Poitín.
KiwiWarlordski, King of Poland, accepted the challenge Europe was subsequently stunned by the inability of the Irish to stand in the field of battle without falling over drunk despite being capable of finding Poland after their drinking binge. Hence,
Poland continues to remain firmly Slavic
Not content with soundly defeating the Irish
Poland now declares war on the O'Dilly Irish and an invasion force of Poles from the muster of 1618 - 1632 has begun the long journey to the land of potatoes & fellow Catholic Brothers. Europe awaits in astonished disbelief.
Call to Arms in Eastern Europe and Asia
The Tzardom of Russia under Mouse-e-Tungovich declared Uzbek Hetmanate part of the Tzarist Kingdom to monopolise the Sardine supply from the Kaspian. Unfortunately the
The King of Sweden, now known widely in Russia as the "The Lion Cub of the North" has lost his claim to this valuable piece of real estate for their lutfisk production after being defeated battle despite forgetting to bring home armies with them. As such both sides were forced to purchase the services of some used mercenary companies lurking in the region by blind bidding at the bazaar. Russia got the better, a wall of Portuguese muskets versus a brave yet outdated army of Hussars and Panzerkampwagonschutzenpferden.
Uzbek and the sardine trade is now firmly in the Russia sphere of influence.
After the Poles under KiwiLordski successfully challenged the Grand Sultan bin Greeting44 for Turkey, Poland now declares war on Russia and an invasion force of Poles from the muster of 1618 - 1632 has begun the short journey to the land of sunflowers. Stunned by Polish greed, Europe waits in disbelief for the reply
Call to Arms in Western Europe and West Africa
Spain extended the Reconquista with the invasion of Morocco and claimed Portugal to be territories of the Spanish crown. His Serene Highness
the Sultan of Morocco G bin Dodaziz accepted both challenges refuting these outrageous claims. The battle for Portugal saw mercenary Cornish-men under the now able commander the Earl of Monmouth defeat the Spanish Saxon mercenaries to gain Portugal for the sultan. Although,
Portugal is now part of the sultan's stable, Europe still waits for the conclusion of the battle for Morocco with drooling anticipation.
Both
the Sun King of France Aryaman Bourbon and Mad King William Felipe I of Spain claimed by right the Kingdom of Italy. The Bourbon king based his claim on a future assertion to the right to remarry Marie de' Medici in the event of his current wife's death, even though Felipe is currently married to the very same women. Europe continues to wait in nervous anticipation of a result
Meanwhile,
the Grand Sultan of the Ottoman Empire clearly concerned for their Moroccan brother's poor performance against the infidel's Spanish invasion challenged Mad King Felipe I for
the Spanish mainland, which is now once more under a Muslim ruler. All of Europe is shaking their heads in wonder at the success of the suntanned Sultan's audacious move.
Moreover, not only has
both the Sultan of Morocco and the "The Lion of the North" laid claim to Austria but
the Swedish King has also challenged the Sun King after tasting a rather fine bottle of Bordeaux and coveting the region. Monmouth's failure to arrive in Austria as a fully paid mercenary company required the disgruntled Sultan to employ Portuguese mercenaries from his new territory to pursue his claim against the Mad King and his mercenary army of hairy Scotsmen. Unfortunately, for the Sultan the Portuguese mercenaries hightailed it back to Portugal with a bad taste of kilt shock. Hence, the Mad King now has a new homeland and an imperial court for his nobles to prance around in their finery. Meanwhile, it's unsure whether the Sun King has risked the loss of his fine wine producing region. Europe waits.
In other news,
the Sultan of Morocco challenged O'Dilly Dilly a' diddley diddley due to being between a rock and a hard potato and having a bad case of Spanish flu back in Morocco. Finding the Irish indeed couldn't remember how firearms or pike work, he is currently engaged with O'Dilly's Irish.
Call to Arms in Central Europe
The Irishman
Dilly O'Dilly and the Scotsman McAwsum of Glen Campbell challenged for Germanyhaving an insatiable liking for bratwurst and München lager. Since both claim these delicious staples they continue to 'fight for the right'. Europe continues to wait and see which Gaelic expedition will win.
EUROPE IN TURMOIL - UPDATE 5 Showing unowned states that have succumbed to occupation and resolved player battles to date. [It does not include challenges yet to be accepted]
- Europe Map.jpg (294.46 KiB) Viewed 3101 times
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